ERIK YOU IDIOT

HEH YOU ARROGANT AND DESPICABLE GIRAFFE IN THA' WHOLE UNIVERSE.

oh yes you my dear darling. I am sorry I kinda uh.. forgot your birthday last night and I am uh... YOU KNOW. EMOTIONALLY WRECKED RIGHT NOW. SOO YEAH.

cough cough.

so my dear i am gonna give you my famous speech no jutsu time. BUT BELIEVE ME MY SPEECH WILL BRINGS YOU TEAR AND YOU GONNA  LURVE ME WITH PASSION LATER.

so my dear you are sixteen now. although its kinda uh.. missed but believe me. 

I REMEMBER YOUR BIRTHDAY CLEARLY DAMMIT. SO STOP SULKING AND HATING ME. 

(or you are gonna arrested to make  a beautiful and sweet girl like me become so emotionally stressed because of tha guilt that overcome her so much that she fainted and never EVA opened her eyes again)

so you know. school is tough. i never knew that little gray book will ever bring emotional pain and leave a big BIG scar to my poor poor heart. 

oh sob.

OKAY I AM DONE WITH THA' EXCUSE now is the real thing.

well, since you are the only one that ever bring me a holiday present straight to my house and wake my beauty sleep in the progress you upgraded yourself from 'Best' into 'AWESOME' joining ipeh and friends. 

CONGRATULATIONS!

err although the pen is kinda broken rite now. BUT OH WELL. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERIC JARVIS. 

YOU ARE  MY BEAUTIFUL GIRAFFE PET EVA.

sincerely your master

ENSLI >D

friends like you are hard to find

in a lifetime you get only a few

and when you find them 

you always know them by sight and heart alone

and when you find them 

you always grow a bit taller in your soul

and when you find them

you also know that as the years come 

and as the years go by

you have been blessed just to know them

thus blessed am I 

and thus lucky have I been 

to know a person like you

the tree that stuck in its roots.

i decided to quit my technology guild from now on since I saw my report yesterday. I only managed to pass 3 from 10 subject at my school. And what have crushing me the most is my psychology test, It said that my intelligence is under average. 

well, then.

what should I do now?

my intelligence is under average, that means i am just a retarded female that can't do a simple equation such as algebra and friends. 

that means I am just another fail project that doomed to be another pathetic co-worker that never get her salary raise in another 5 years. 

Le sigh.

I contacted my guild friend that I am gonna quit and never ever do any project until next year or until i can see any improvement with my subject. She didn't take the news well. pronto. After a lot of explaining and bullshit no jutsu she let it go.

"Well, blockhead. Go figures. I wait for you. Scratch that. We wait for you. so when you are done hitting the books just come back and do your mac."


oh I am touched Mei. seriously. So before I go all mushy again i hung the phone, and write this thing.

the point why I write this is, I want this as my reminder why I took a step back such as a huge decision to leave my guild. Because believe me, half of my life is there. I mean. I can't do anything other than drawing , and that place. That place make me always believe that i am not that retarded, well a little. But still..

So, my self in the future. if you ever slack and do anything about photoshop and friends shame on you then.




sincerely yourself that failed in tha' past


-ensli-

rainbows

Current mood: no rainbows
Current music : SO SO WHAT WHAT IMMA BE YER LOVE TONIGHT
Location: inside mah room

It’s just black and white since you left.

.

.

.

.

.

no rainbows nor the epic ponytails.

.

.

.

.

.

. 

no more..

.

.

.

.

excuse my laziness ladies and gentlemen ;D

She looked outside her windows. Watching as the rain roared its wrath to the mother earth. Cleanse all the living being under the horizon with its water. She can see the dirt that covered her mother’s car slowly being drifted away.




A muscle in her jaws tightened


She wished to be cleaned too


Dark eyes hardened


She gripped her bed sheets





=========================


She loves the rain. The water is relaxing, and it feels like your soul is cleaned. She was breaking through the rain that day. The uniform was clinging like her second skin; she used her bag as her temporary shade. Somehow when she was dashing madly to her home, she just realized something.




The droplets was sliding down her skin


Her hair was sticking to her face


Her body was drenched


Her speed decreased


Then she smelled rain


And smiled cheekily




She decided that day that she loves the rain.


===========================






When she was little, her mother showered her with lots of fairy tales. She still remembered the sleeping beauty.




The freaking sleeping beauty.




Letting herself being pricked by a sewing machine (sewing machine!) and sleep peacefully waiting her prince to slay the witch and bust her door then making out with her.




In the end, the book said:


‘The dark clouds that covered the kingdoms slowly disappearing replaced by the beautiful rainbows and they live happily ever after…”






oh yeah.


Happily ever after.


Che. Fairytales.


============




She met her long lost undying love 2 weeks ago.


She was buying a lemonade when she saw him. He was standing right 6 meters beside her, buying a corndog with heavily doused mustard and mayonnaise, His features is soft yet muscular and he is one head taller than her.


somehow her eyes can't stop following him.


unfortunately when she was 'observing' him (or ogling him. audrey nicely put it) his eyes caught her features. 


dark meet soft hazel


She can feel things around her stopped


Oh yeah. earth stopped its rotation


not. cool.


Finally for seemed like ages he nodded and smiled. 


She put her best smile and waved.




earth continued its rotation
================




When she was doodling lazily in her class somehow, a simple doodle draw make her remember her friends. 


A doodle dragon makes her remember Ipeh


A doodle round smiley faces makes her remember Eric


A tiny doodle girl makes her remember ketherine


A stick makes her remember isa


and finally a doodle fly makes her remember tere.


Oh how she missed the old days.

.

.

.

.

The only thing that never change in this world is memories.

-BOWSAAAH-

FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY

current mood: cranky.
current music : OVERDOSED!
location : where there is a cup of steaming hot green tea.


NO NO NO. DON'T THROW THOSE TOMATOES TO ME. NOO NOOO.

AND THOSE EGGS.
(blame the midterms baby).


finally.

well finally.

at least.

MIDTERMS IS OVER.


yay!

...

(boo)

...

(woe.)


yes yes. its over. please throw those confetti and party paper please. let me angsting in peace inside my room. and no. My tests is busted and I am doomed. how about yours? hm. great I presume.

yes? no?

well then. without further ado, here we go.


1 WEEK TEST THAT DOOMED TO FAIL :

day 1 : math and english

math : i swear i practice and do a lot of logarithm , factoring and craps. but in the morning. i only can do three from 15 problems. i don't want to talk about those 11. in recess time I dragged sp to girls toilet. I slammed the door cursing loudly in my head. I locked my self inside until recess time.

result : FAILED

english : i checked my sheets 4 times before I collect it to the teacher. in recess I compared my answers to adit. It went smoothly and my self esteem boosted a little. but 2 days ago I heard that more than a half class is failed. and there is no way I am not included into that ' more than a half '

result : FAILED



day 2 : chemistry and mandarin

Chemistry : i don't want to talk about it.

result : FAILED

mandarin : nah, i am good and perfectly happy for this.

result : PASS (yay!)


day 3 : physics and Bahasa Indonesia

physics : hrmm. i think i can pass this. but I messed up in last problems. damn you vector.

result : i don't know. not so sure. so FAIL! D<

Bahasa Indonesia : It's about pride damnit. if I can't pass my own language sent me to africa.

result : PASS! PASS! PASSS! PASS PWEAAASEEE . . . BOHOOOHOO. D;


day 4 : civics and biology

Civics : I LOVE YOU TEACHER. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LURVEEE YOU. I'll sing you taio cruz with my guitar outside your window with those epic gaga costume every night. i'll become your pizza delivery every day , I EVEN WASH YOUR CAT. EVERY . SINGLE. DAY .

result : PASS!

biology : she didn't tell my class about scientific names.

result : pass to fail.


day 5 : geography and religion

geography : smooth ensli. reaal smooth.

result : PASS! ( i hope)

religion : i failed.

result : FAILED


day 6 : sociology and history

sociology : those multiple choice make my eyes burn.

result : PASS! (failed...)

history : I don't remember. (blame the aspirin.)

result : PASS!

last day (Yay!) : economy and computer

economy : ... i failed at writing the conclusion problem.

result : pass. *sigh* no not really. FAILED!

computer : I can do flash, I can do programming , I know computer system. I do project . heck , I even can do a little hacking. but.. WHY THE HELL I CAN'T DO PASCAL FORMULA??

result : i stop drinking my tea if I failed. (PASS!)


Yes i am still angsting now. pigging my tango , pitying myself , eat junk food , drinking my tea.


BOHOHOHOOHOHO.


did I mention that I only sleep less than 4 hours last week. no? yes? no?

the glory of caffeine..

..

(ahh)

..


oh. i have a text message.

...

(click)

...

OH SHIET. FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML

i need to take my report next week.

.

.

.

.

eff my life.

patience is a virtue

current mood: annoyed . pissed pissed pissed. as pissed as mount everest
current music : WHY MOMMY WHYY
place : my room. our room. mommy room.

i hate you.
i hate you.

MOMMY WHY MOMMY.

D:

what. i am pissed. go away.

mommy. mommy i hate you. yet i love you.

you don't know how much i study.
i am no good.
i don't have that einstein brain
even we share the same birthdate
that suck.
i know.

mommy. if only. if only you knew.
every night when you sleep.
i sneak of to that empty room
grabbed my blasted books (physics and friends)
sit in that huge chair
and study
oh
did i mention that the empty room is spooky at night
especially midnight?
now you know.

you said that i stabbed your heart
when you see that fourty marked on my paper
if only you knew
my heart is crushed and blended and stabbed
to know i am failed to please you
to know i am failed as a daughter
to know i am nothing

do you know
the moment you took me
to those fancy restaurant
we sat and chatting
truth to be told
i felt guilty
ashamed
disgusted
of my self
i lost my appetite
i don't deserve to be in here

30 minutes ago
you questioning me about ny study
please i know that look


i know i am a failure
but that doesn't mean i am not trying
to be a less-failure

but those steps is really high
and far to reach


just letting you know though

3 MINUTES RUSH.

current mood: RUSH BABY. RUSHH (RUSH , RUSH ,RUSH) playing cupid btw.

current music: oh shoot. i am busted.

location : in solitude as room could be.

D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D:

D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D:

D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D:

okay okay. sorry for the emote.

someone is being poetic today.

and cheesy (the positive cheesy though)

(BIG --> D:)

*insert soap opera theme song here*

30 seconds ago i was chatting with my un - separate - able - pain - in - the - ass - best- friend. guess who. IT'S JEJE. WOOT WOOT.

ahum.

anywhoooo.

the conversation goes like this :

I was babbling about my future and my awesomeness when suddenly he said the magic word.

enslithegreat : oh you have not yet seen my masterpiece jeje.

jason : mellisa is ready to marry me

enslithegreat : my awesomeness.

enslithegreat : . . .

enslithegreat : what?

enslithegreat : what?

enslithegreat : what?

enslithegreat : WHAAAT?

enslithegreat: D:

enslithegreat: here is a ring

enslithegreat: oh geee.

enslithegreat: I WANT TO BE MELL BRIDESMAID

enslithegreat: :D

jason: nonono

jason: you'll be her bride of honor

jason: cool

jason: hmmm.

jason: so where will i host my wedding

jason: don't know

enslithegreat: OH OH.

enslithegreat: i want sexy boy

enslithegreat: be my partner

enslithegreat: HE IS MINE

enslithegreat: MUAHAHAHHAHA

let's just skip that part

jason : i want 2 mini me's

jason : i'll be with her.

jason : every time.

enslithegreat : oh young love.

jason : i don't need any girls

jason : sorry bitches

jason : I'm off limits

ensithegreat : WKAKAKKAKAKAK

jason : i am loyal

jason : you know

jason : my look.

jason : my sexiness

jason : all hers

enslithegreat: cheesy

jason : you know

jason : i think i am falling for her

jason : hard.

enslithegreat : omg

jason : i never thought to stand again.

enslithegreat : i'm proud of you

enslithegreat : OH SHIT\

enslithegreat : THAT WAS THE

enslithegreat : SWEETEST THING

enslithegreat : EVER

jason : ahhahahhaha

enslithegreat : I'M SO GONNA BLOG IT

jason : ahahahahahha

jason : huh?

jason : what the hell?

ISNT THAT THE SWEETEST THING EVER. D: especially this is jeje we are talkin about. omg. i am so proud of you boy.

MELL YOU BETTER SEE THIS. D<

ensli, out!

picture treat!

link --> http://spriteocarina.deviantart.com/art/UBF2010Round04-ToS-Part-1-178253973?q=gallery%3ASpriteOcarina%2F1044391&qo=3

beat

current mood: proudly sober.
current music: cats meowing outside
place : room. apple action.


well gee.

i'm cool. yeah.

so basically I don't know when is your bithday is. until 2 seconds ago our ipeh wishing you on twitter.

nah.

kidding. I forgot. (don't sue me)

i feel an emotional break down now. my mum banned me from seeing my son. (my mac) and she hijacked my laptop. So i typed this with god finger of mine in this tiny touch keyboard ipod of mine.


i was stressed. no no. i am obviously stressed. exams. home work. studies. computer, work, family , friends , you.


i want to. i don't know. i just like. i don't know. i don't know what to say. i am proud of you. for being fifteen 40 minutes ago. i am proud of you. for what you achieved in that blasted school.

i know we've been in our ways for 3 months. many happens. I am not that suck with math. Now i gained 1 kilo from last week. i dropped my mum new blackberry. i even loves durian.


but some things still the same.

i hate you for not answering my tweets, phone calls, etcetera etcetera.

i deeply am still love you the same.

so please. please please.

even when you are down
there is someone to give you their hands

even when you sick
there is someone that force the medicine down your throat. and pray for your health

even when you shed your tears
there is someone that kicked his or her ass and make them your pet for a day


oh my god. I am crying now.

even when you happy
there is someone that undyingly happy just to see your smile.


that someone may not me. it can be anyone. that truly loves you. care you. hence, even jump to lava pond when you are there.

my point is. i am no longer with you. no longer by your side.

so please

remember me
remember us

even it is faint

i can still feel our heart beat as one.



happy 15th birthday theresya tan

your soul mate

ensli

The art of love

teacher, thank you for ripping my heart out and stomping on it.

-BOWSAAAH-

current mood : FEEL THE WRATH BABY.

current music : keyboard clicking.

location : Room. in front of mac-y. oh . la .la

blame the writer block.

okay. Why do teacher (s) have to be so pushy?

seriously.

it's not like I am not studying or anything. (Hence, I EVEN STUDYING EVERY NIGHT MIND YOU.)

I have been dating with biology, sociology and the other from this past two weeks. I buy them gift, I tell them stories. I even watched them sleeping every night!

and boy they dumped me.

now folks, don't worry

I still eat things unhealthy. didn't brush my teeth daily , I still blab everything to Mei , and I still am the same girl that has fat stored in her belly and butt. (seriously)

there have juuust some modifications :

1. I have the ' i hate the world' attitude and smashed people around me. turned them black- and - blue

Juan is my first victim though.

I punched his gut and slapped his head this morning when he mentioned about his scores for math , physics and biology. I felt some sort of satisfactory ( and sorry) though seeing him clutching his stomach and writhing in agony. omg I felt like chun - li.

2. I have 'this' feeling when I see my mother. (MOMMY PLEASE FORGIVE YOUR LOVELY SWEET CARING DAUGHTER. D;)

3. I gained 1 kilo. (damn you tango)

4. The teacher seems to love me more. (please. I know those glances since I was 5th grade)

Two days earlier

"Hello teacher!"

glare. "hello ensli." walks away.

"uuuh.."

and so on.

I feel like committing suicide now.

Oh yeah I remember. I need to remedial my english speech ' because i am not making any eye contacts and I was moving to much ' yeah thank you teacher for the words. I love you too. ;) (insert hearts and flowers here)

god, I AM pathetic.

so folks. excuse my self. I need to go sulk with geography for the upcoming remedial.

oh.

and biology too.

ensli, out!