patience is a virtue

current mood: annoyed . pissed pissed pissed. as pissed as mount everest
current music : WHY MOMMY WHYY
place : my room. our room. mommy room.

i hate you.
i hate you.

MOMMY WHY MOMMY.

D:

what. i am pissed. go away.

mommy. mommy i hate you. yet i love you.

you don't know how much i study.
i am no good.
i don't have that einstein brain
even we share the same birthdate
that suck.
i know.

mommy. if only. if only you knew.
every night when you sleep.
i sneak of to that empty room
grabbed my blasted books (physics and friends)
sit in that huge chair
and study
oh
did i mention that the empty room is spooky at night
especially midnight?
now you know.

you said that i stabbed your heart
when you see that fourty marked on my paper
if only you knew
my heart is crushed and blended and stabbed
to know i am failed to please you
to know i am failed as a daughter
to know i am nothing

do you know
the moment you took me
to those fancy restaurant
we sat and chatting
truth to be told
i felt guilty
ashamed
disgusted
of my self
i lost my appetite
i don't deserve to be in here

30 minutes ago
you questioning me about ny study
please i know that look


i know i am a failure
but that doesn't mean i am not trying
to be a less-failure

but those steps is really high
and far to reach


just letting you know though